Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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