I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
