office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
