my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
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Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
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I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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