NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
