so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize