The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize