shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
