at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
