soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
