My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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