I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
