I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
