You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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