Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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