Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize