We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
