The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
