i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize