not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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