She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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