I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
