Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
