I'm gonna have a badass scar
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
