Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize