wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
