Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Did you just see the Batmobile???
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
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So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I think your dad took our porno
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize