erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
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