you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
