Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
