Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
