Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We had sex on a dog bed..
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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