yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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