Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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