so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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