Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
