im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
