"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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