I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Couch. On fire.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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