I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
