saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
