you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
