so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
