Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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