Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
