Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
