In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
is it fun? or sober?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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