no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
