Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
