I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
