It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
