# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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