i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
