Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
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Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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