don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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