so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
