I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
