You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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