Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
