On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Randomize
