In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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