Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
time to smoke my breakfast
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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