you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
