week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
